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  • Writer's pictureKate O'Sullivan

Patience

Something I don’t have and wish I did. I don’t have patience in any part of my life - in work I am the one who speeds meetings up to get to the point, in my relationship we bought a house and got engaged the same month and got a puppy within 6 months, and when I’m feeling well I’m a quick decision maker and don’t spend time overthinking things (this of course changes when my anxiety is bad).


Unfortunately with PND patience is important and what I am really struggling with is “giving it time”, “being patient”, “trust it will get better”. I feel my life is passing me by day by day while I feel like this - I am not enjoying George, I’m feeling guilty, and I am wishing the days away - hoping that the more time passes the easier it will get but unfortunately right now it’s not getting better.


Some days I wonder if I will just get tired of fighting as I have been feeling bad for so long (over a year now) and I wonder if everyone is lying to me - maybe it won’t get better, maybe I’m the exception, maybe there are women who just aren’t suited to motherhood, who never bond with their babies and never enjoy it.


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