One of the many distractions I tried to keep my mind busy was sending Thank You cards for all the baby gifts received.
To family I enclosed this family photo with the card. Several of my aunts contacted me on receipt of the photo, one commenting “You all look so happy”….. if only she knew.
The day that photo was two weeks before Christmas and I didn’t want to hold George, I chose to hold Sam. It was taken in my parents’ house and I couldn’t get out of the house fast enough. I couldn’t bear listening to my dad saying what a lovely baby George was and ooh-ing and ah-ing over him as the guilt I felt for not feeling that way was unbearable.
But that’s just it, no-one understands how you are feeling unless they have gone through it.
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