"It was like he had always been here"
The birth - At around 31 weeks I remember feeling a lot of discomfort due to the way the baby was lying and to cut a long story short he arrived at 32 weeks 6 days - so over 7 weeks early. The birth was fast, there was no time for pain relief or to get to the delivery suite. He was taken straight to NICU so I didn’t get to see, not to mind hold him when he was born. I was rushed to the theatre so it was lunchtime the following day before I saw him in his incubator in the NICU. My partner missed the birth and when we did eventually get to go and see our little boy we couldn’t meet him together which I found very hard - one parent at a time due to covid.
In the days after the birth I felt this overwhelming sense of relief and joy that the pregnancy was over, the baby was here safe and sound and it was like everyone told me it would be “like he was always here”. While he got stronger in NICU I visited twice daily while rushing like a mad woman to get his room painted and decorated and to buy everything we needed - something I hadn’t been able to even think about when pregnant. After 2 weeks George came home and for the first few days we thought this is grandddd… maybe my partner should go back to work until he gets bigger. But when the sleep deprivation kicked in and a bigger black cloud arrived.
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