Last week - read my post on “How I was really feeling”
This week is totally different I’m feeling brighter and there is definitely more light at the end of the tunnel… I don’t know if it’s due to the medication, the longer days, George smiling more, keeping busy, looking forward to the future - returning to work, weekends away, summer holidays. Now I know this feeling may not last but I think it’s important to acknowledge the brighter days so I can remember them on the not so bright days.
I was in Barcelona last weekend and you may think… oh look at her there off having a great time. That’s very far from the reality of the trip. I’m grateful for getting the weekend to go away with my partner but it doesn’t mean I wasn’t wracked with guilt - feeling like such a burden on him, feeling incapable as a mother and feeling such a strain on our relationship because of my PND. I couldn’t enjoy the weekend fully and when I got back I felt worse than I did leaving Ireland. On Tuesday I am in a well-being group and I started crying to the group as I was feeling so low. That call was the turning point for me - before the call my mind was all over the place I couldn’t think straight (literally couldn’t see the wood from the trees) and I contemplated not joining the call, and at the start of the call I considered leaving the call early - I’m so glad I didn’t, we shared our experiences the previous week (realising you are not the only one finding it tough really helps) and to finish we did Tapping (look it up) and this completely distracted my mind from the constant spiral of negativity I was feeling.
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