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  • Writer's pictureKate O'Sullivan

The radio silence

I haven’t written in this blog in a long time because I don’t feel much better and I was hoping things would improve before I posted again.

My last post was in March shortly before I went to Cheltenham with two of my girl friends - I honestly had such a good time and felt like myself again, like I had my old life back. My mother in law said to me “don’t feel guilty about going”… I was like I don’t. Was I supposed to feel guilty?

The amount of people who have said to me when I’m at a wedding etc, “oh is this your first night away from the baby”… and my response is.. “no it’s not”. And then some people say “oh I left my child for the first time when they were 4 and a half”. I may not feel better yet but I know that spending 24/7 at home with the baby certainly wouldn’t help me on the road to recovery. So don’t feel ashamed or guilty for taking all the help you can get, I certainly don’t. Different people have different parenting styles - I think regardless how I am or was feeling it is far healthier for me anyway to feel a bit like myself again and still do all the things I used to. I firmly believe that George will grow up far more independent not spending every second of every day with me. Now these are just my thoughts and are based on my circumstances - everyone is different.

Although I am not yet where I want to be, there have been small moments of relief that suggest I may one day feel like myself again and may start to enjoy George.


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